Today I learned that somebody that I know closed their business and got a job. Happens every day, but this was different. I’ve known this owner for a few years. I evaluated him a year ago. He needed help. The evaluation indicated what to do. So, I told him, laid out the plan, and made it affordable for him.

He said that he appreciated my advice, but was going to fix himself. I asked how. He said that he was gonna read Baseline Selling. I asked how he was gonna overcome his weaknesses. He told me that his wife was gonna hold him accountable. I asked what if it doesn’t work. He told me that he’d call me in three months if it didn’t work.

He didn’t call. Now, he’s out of business. Probably in debt. Still can’t sell.

Tonight, I get to go to sleep wondering if I was too nice. Not strong enough. Worried about offending him or having him think that I was abrasive. Wondering if I should have tried harder to keep him in business.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I like you are watching the Olympics. I just watched Colby Bryant be interviewed about the pride that he felt just being on the team. It got me thinking.

I was not a youth athlete. I played tennis for my high school team and my college team, but it wasn’t my passion.

I was very involved with my sons, Mark and Matt, through T-ball, Farm League, AAA, Little League, soccer every fall and every spring, basketball in the winter. We learned how to ski together. I also got to watch Mark play high school soccer and tennis and Matt play football. I don’t think that I ever ‘saw’ either of them going to the Olympics. (Sorry guys.)

So, selling…..How many of us didn’t ‘sell’ chocolate, girl scout cookies, raffle tickets, etc. for some charity or other when we were young and cute?

Some of us get part time jobs in high school or college selling something or other.

Even fewer wind up calling themselves ‘professional salespeople’ when we grow up. Some make really big money. Others struggle forever.

What if there were a Sales Olympics. Would anyone you know be there?

I thought about the title, “Are you a know-it-all?” but decided that wasn’t kinder and gentler.

I just received my newsletter from JustSell and thought the message important enough to share immediately.

They define coachable as: Approachable, Attentive, Receptive, Curious, Objective, Trusting, Shapeable and Confident.

Interesting, huh? Here’s the link. http://www.justsell.com/latest.htm

How’s this post? Kinder? Gentler?

Yesterday, Elaine tried on several bathing suits that she had bought last week. Naturally, she had to model them for me and I had to answer the same questions for each. Do you like it? How about right here (while she points)? Do you like the material? Color? Does it make me look fat?

Now, we’ve been married for a long time. My answers were: HMMM! Do you? What’s the matter with that (and I look wherever she’s pointing)? Will it dry or is it comfortable? Do you have that color already? And I give her the ‘do I look that stupid look’ to the last question.

Then she hit’s me with, “Ricky, you know that question that husbands can’t answer?” I give her the look again. She says, “You know, the fat question. You can answer it. Do any of these suits make me look fat?” I said, “Elaine, if you like the color, and you like the style, and the suit is comfortable, keep it. If you don’t want to keep it, bring it back.”

Can you tell that Elaine has an issue with her ‘Buy Cycle‘? But don’t interpret that as, “She wants me to tell her what I think.” because it doesn’t matter. MY OPINION DOES NOT MATTER! Get it? Whether I say, “Keep it.” or “Don’t keep it.” has no effect on her decision.

If you read the page behind the link, you noticed that this ‘issue’ is very common and VERY powerful. So, you shouldn’t be surprised when I tell you that most of the prospects that I meet with have this issue.

Here’s the difference. When a prospect is talking to me, it’s usually because they want to sell more. Although Elaine and my prospect have the same issue with their ‘Buy Cycle’, Elaine’s issue does not impact her ability to sell because she’s not trying to sell. She’s only trying to decide whether or not to buy. My prospect on the other hand not only has to overcome the issue in order to be able to sell more, but they’ll also have to overcome the issue in order to buy the solution and like with Elaine, my opinion doesn’t matter.

Many of my prospects are looking for a quick answer, a magic bullet, a super pill. Sorry, change always requires work and some level of discomfort. Ask Sandra Condon. She doesn’t sell diet pills, she offers solutions that require work and some level of discomfort to acheive a healthy life.

My prospects face an interesting dilemma, don’t they?

Are you a blogger? How many blogs do you read?

Are you good at something? How many books have you read about it?

Are you trying to do something better? Who are you asking? Following? Listening to?

Read Frank’s post. Scott Zimmerman made three hours worth of great points yesterday which we’ll probably share over the next few posts. One was that the people that we hang with are usually just like us. They earn within 10-15% of what we earn. They aspire to be what we aspire to be. They and we don’t really want anyone to ‘break out of the group because then those left behind will feel bad that they got left behing and the one who broke away will fell bad that they made the rest of the group feel bad (but not that they broke away).

Between 150 and 200 people attended the Sales Summit yesterday. Are they the only ones that are trying to break away? (I have a whole bunch of other questions here, but they’re definitely not kinder and gentler.)

OK. Enough questions. Re-read Frank’s first paragraph. It ends with,


“helpful to anyone, especially me, that attended.”

Huh? Especially me? Read Frank’s bio. Look at his profile. Frank’s a better salesman, had more experience, read more, studied more, practiced more, sold more, and is more successful than most of the people that were there.

………….and he said, especially him. Some want to be great. The great become greater.

Do you remember your first time?

Doing anything the first time usually involves some questions?

I can tell you that the Worcester Business Journal’s first ever Sales Summit was awesome!

Usually, there’s one person that says something like, “This could have been better.”

I heard none of that!

The All Stars were all stars! Scott Zimmerman was fantastic! The attendees were engaged.

Pete Caputa (the freak) blogged while he was presenting about his presentation! Who ever heard of that?

Tracy O’Clair invited me to connect on LinkedIn less than an hour after the event ended!

Laura Briere blogged about her hot shot All Star and commented on my recent post. I had to answer her back.

So, were you there? What did you think? Anything about anything…Let’s hear what you think.

Also, did you make any good connections. How are you gonna follow up?

If I’m not asking a question that you want to answer, tell us what the question is then answer it.

Don’t forget to subscribe to the comments so you can read what everybody says.

From time to time, we talk about the difference between marketing and sales.

I’ve had conversations with peers about whether salespeople should generate their own leads.

I’ve even gone so far as to say that the stronger your lead generation program(s), the weaker you are encouraging your salespeople to be and vice versa. The weaker your lead generation is, the stronger your salespeople need to be.

I’m constantly getting pushback. Salespeople want fancy websites, big advertising, more mailings, marketing support, yada, yada, yada. Anything for more leads so they don’t have to work so hard.

Then, tonight, I read Rainmakers and Lead Generation. Brian nailed it. I’ve never seen it put exactly like thie before. Read it and set yourself a new standard!

Thanks, Brian!

Remember a few years ago, the IRS tried to fix their image problem by using the words, “Kinder and Gentler”?

Well, I’m wondering if Rick could use a little of the same. I’ve recently read comments like:

“not everyone can or should try to be like Rick”

“Are you sorry you were abrasive”

“people may not like the direct approach”

“Your feistiness is loveable, but only to those who are not afraid of you. Those who don’t know you well may be intimidated by your willingness to confront.”

“Maybe they’re offended by the WAY you tell them they’re the problem”

“This is quintessential Rick”

And that was just in the past week!

In addition, last week I had a conversation with Kate Hyland Mercer and while reviewing our history, I found an email from her from last October that asked “Can you teach clients skills that are universal or are they “just Rick’s way”?”

OK, so here’s the challenge! I can be nurturing and still be effective. You can introduce your best client to me without worrying about me, ‘blowing them up’. I don’t have to be as ‘in your face’ as I have been recently.

To prove it, I will be a KINDER AND GENTLER Rick until Labor Day! FIVE WEEKS of sweetness! I absolutely assure you…..no attitude between now and then. If you have someone who needs a meeker approach, now’s the time. Send me an email. Call. Just make sure that they get in before September 1st.

Two other things…..If you hear a blood curdling scream of frustration late at night, you’ll know who it is.

Second, you might want to give me a wide berth on September 2.

Oh, one more thing….You clients that are already in? You won’t see a change. You bought the old Rick.

‘Twas an interesting week!

I had a conversation this week (with an expert in their field) that started, “Can you help me with following up after I meet someone after a networking event.” I coached for over an hour. I shared word tracks, attitudes, everything that I could. I promise. I didn’t hold anything back. I answered every question and gave extra. We even role-played several scenarios. I wish that I could tell you that it worked, but we were addressing one little piece of the process.

Process…….It starts with figuring out who to talk to, what to say, where to find them, then doing it. It goes through, needs analysis, establishing rapport, yada, yada, yada. It ends with having a happy, repeating, totally loyal customer that’s become an evangelist and a constant source of referrals.

Following up after a networking event is a very small part of the process, and although I gave it my all,


there’s a lot more to do.
The second conversation with an expert was even more rewarding. I mentioned a particular opening question to a quasi-competitor and I got this response. “Rick, I am going to try your question. I love it! Will keep you posted.” I was so enthralled with this acknowledgement from a peer that I called them, immediately. Thanked them for starting my day that way. Then we talked for a minute, specifically about ‘difficult’ clients. They told me about a client that they recently had to tell three things.

1.)    Look, you’ve had the change order for three months. We’ve talked about it for hours. You know it will work.
        Sign the change order or don’t, but we don’t need to talk about it any more.

2.)    We’ve talked about Joe 27 times. He’s killing your organization. Fire him!

3.)    Pick up the phone and call me. Stop sending me 1,000 word emails. I don’t have time to read them. Call me.

I’ve paraphrased to protect the innocent, but the point is, “If you’re asking for help and you’re asking a person that you believe is an expert, shut your mouth, open your ears and your mind and do what you’re told.

In closing, I’ll admit that Todd gave me a pretty good “up yours” and despite Dave Kurlan’s comment, I doubt that he’s ever gonna swallow his pride enough to call me, but if he ever did, he’d find out what nurturing was all about.

I’ve been thinking about the comments to my last post. Some of the best comments were verbal.

Last night, as usual, I called my mother on the way home. Her comment was, “I don’t think Jason likes you.”

I also spoke with a new client (That’s right. Occasionally, they say, “Yes.”). He said, “So, the lesson is my way or the highway.”

I also discussed the post and debriefed my sales process with several of my associates at work. (That’s right. We practice what we preach.)

The point is, Jason is right. “…if I changed, I could sell more.” My response is, “What if I don’t want to?”

I found this article entitled “Top Ten Reasons for Change Resistance“. This excerpt is from the closing paragraph.


“To win people’s commitment for  change, you must engage them on both a rational level and an
emotional level. I’ve emphasized the emotional side of the equation for this list because I find,
in my experience, that this is the area would-be change agents understand least well.”

This is another excerpt from the same paragraph.


“But I’m also mindful that a failure to listen to and respond to people’s rational objections and
beliefs is ultimately disrespectful to them, and to assume arrogantly that we innovative,
change agent types really do know best.  A word to the wise:  we’re just as fallible as anyone.”

Let me close with this thought. Last week I had a great conversation with Sandra Condon about her blog. At the end of our conversation, she asked, “Aren’t you gonna try to sell me?” I replied, “You’re not a prospect.” and then we discussed the reasons that she wasn’t a prospect and she agreed. Think about it. I meet a lot of people. I’ve probably met you. Have I ever asked you to buy? Very few people get to my closing table. Most that do ask to be there. That doesn’t give me permission to be rude, disrespectful, or do anything that would make them feel bad about themselves, so I’m not. I do not want their money unless they are willing to change and the first step is usually the most difficult. Once they take the first step, I’ll help with the rest and if they don’t want to take the first step, I’ll help them not take it.