Resistance to Change

I’ve been thinking about the comments to my last post. Some of the best comments were verbal.

Last night, as usual, I called my mother on the way home. Her comment was, “I don’t think Jason likes you.”

I also spoke with a new client (That’s right. Occasionally, they say, “Yes.”). He said, “So, the lesson is my way or the highway.”

I also discussed the post and debriefed my sales process with several of my associates at work. (That’s right. We practice what we preach.)

The point is, Jason is right. “…if I changed, I could sell more.” My response is, “What if I don’t want to?”

I found this article entitled “Top Ten Reasons for Change Resistance“. This excerpt is from the closing paragraph.

“To win people’s commitment for  change, you must engage them on both a rational level and an
emotional level. I’ve emphasized the emotional side of the equation for this list because I find,
in my experience, that this is the area would-be change agents understand least well.”

This is another excerpt from the same paragraph.

“But I’m also mindful that a failure to listen to and respond to people’s rational objections and
beliefs is ultimately disrespectful to them, and to assume arrogantly that we innovative,
change agent types really do know best.  A word to the wise:  we’re just as fallible as anyone.”

Let me close with this thought. Last week I had a great conversation with Sandra Condon about her blog. At the end of our conversation, she asked, “Aren’t you gonna try to sell me?” I replied, “You’re not a prospect.” and then we discussed the reasons that she wasn’t a prospect and she agreed. Think about it. I meet a lot of people. I’ve probably met you. Have I ever asked you to buy? Very few people get to my closing table. Most that do ask to be there. That doesn’t give me permission to be rude, disrespectful, or do anything that would make them feel bad about themselves, so I’m not. I do not want their money unless they are willing to change and the first step is usually the most difficult. Once they take the first step, I’ll help with the rest and if they don’t want to take the first step, I’ll help them not take it.

8 thoughts on “Resistance to Change

  1. Make sure you tell your Mom that I love you. I am also impressed that you call her every day.I know who you are, and I know why you do what you do. But not everyone can or should try to be like Rick. It is entertaining that your Mom interpreted my directness as dislike. Did she have a problem with your directness and tone – or is she just used to it? So, to Rick’s Mom, thank you for making the point that directness has a weakness that can project lack of tolerance and arrogance for those that don’t know us. How do I know? Because I’ve been accused of it on more than one occasion. Is there a line to walk that provides the best of both worlds? I’m on my quest. That’s why we have these conversations.Pete Caputa recommended I read Purple Cow by Seth Godin. Seth believes that to be remarkable we need to find our niche and live on the edge. It won’t be for everyone, but those that love it will tell their friends. Why is Rick successful? Because he knows his niche and is on the edge.

  2. Rick, so now you have me confused. Are you sorry you were abrasive or not? I happen to love your style, probably because it is not that different from mine but not everyone can deal with us and our style.Do we always have to be so net/net? Can we never “fluff it up”? And lastly, are we such old dogs that we can’t learn new tricks?Love that your blog is so personal because it pulls me in. Also, love your Mom though I have never met her.

  3. At various places on this blog, I’ve been called “a big teddy bear”, “sensitively persistent” and “rude” in addition to being called “abrasive”. These are someone else’s words as well as their description of my ‘style’. I don’t believe that I have anything to be sorry for. I wasn’t emotional. I got one of the three reactions that I thought were most likely and everyone’s moved on. I don’t think that there’s anything old about us and I think that we learn every day. It keeps us sharp. Don’t fluff and net depend on the prospect? We give what they need so everyone understands and sometimes, it’s our insistence on clarity that makes us appear inflexible to our prospects. I think we’re both fine. Incidentally, my mother’s been reading your blog since your “gatekeeper post”. She thinks that you’ve got it together.

  4. It is so true that people need to be ready to listen well and make changes that need to be made. Some people may not like the direct approach, but it is the only way to make the changes that are needed. One of my favorite quotes is from Jim Rohn “For things to change, you must change” So true for most people. Thanks for the great conversation, Rick!

  5. Hi, Rick, Did you read your Horoscope today??? It’s interesting and I quote–“Your feistiness is loveable, but only to those who are not afraid of you. Those who don’t know you well may be intimidated by your willingness to confront. Temper your message with a gentle attitude.” Whadda ya think?? Love, Mom

  6. The re-surfacing of your previous posts are great fun. I love that your mom reads your horoscope, I do the same thing! (for my kids, not for you)Not everyone is your prospect, and the sooner you both know that, the easier it is to move on to finding the right one.

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