Carole Mahoney has drawn several parallels between dating and sales. Blind dates. First dates. Last dates. Going steady. Trauma. Fear. Techniques.
Yes, but, do you remember what you felt like when it was time to ‘meet the parents’? What did you feel like when you had to meet their parents? What did you feel like when they had to meet yours?
So, what’s so nerve-wracking about ‘meeting the parents’? Is the anxiety real? Is it the collision of two separate worlds? Is it the importance of both?
That led me to the question, is there a difference between the professional you and the personal you. Would your customers, vendors, partners, employer approve of your ‘at home’ self? Would your children and spouse think less of you if they saw the way you are at work? Do you hate going to work? Does your job grate on your principles?
If there’s a difference between your two selves, if you have different ethics for work and play you could be causing yourself unnecessary stress and conflict. That’s why I love it when one of my clients tells me that their spouse or child asks them, “What does Rick think?”
What brought this post on? Monday night, Elaine and I went out to dinner with Carole Mahoney, her husband, Steve (the birthday boy), Nate, her oldest whose birthday was the next day, and Michael, the younger brother. Nobody had to pretend and everybody had a good time.
RainMakers & Sales Rock Stars 
Great point Rick. I came to the same realization just a few weeks ago that I was maintaining two separate personas – one for work and one outside of work – and it was causing anguish because I wasn’t at peace at work. I now work the way I live and that’s already made a positive change in my outlook at both work and home.
I don’t remember when I started saying it to people, but what you see is what you get. Hubby likes to say, the less you make up, the less you have to try to remember later.
And you- well you have been at the dinner conversations plenty of times- you just didn’t know it.
You know it is funny. I started the Sound Convictions music site because I was tired of business as usual. I never would have said I was a suite and tie guy. Anyone who knows me personally knows this isn’t who I am. Over the years I have bucked the business world system to some degree by being partly who I am as a person.Here is the kicker though. I’ve always thought of myself as an individual and someone who never cared what anyone thought. Then I met Rick. Then I took the sales evaluation. Then I found out I do have a need for approval to some degree and do you know where it lies? In business. Although I am a little different, I still was building the “business version of Dale”.On some level living two different lifestyles. The more I through myself into my music inbound networking group, the more I am just opening the doors to who I am personally. It is rather refreshing. I am being me take it or leave it (as Carole mentioned).I have people in the group who are wondering about this as well. They are writing articles that work on the streets, at a show and when talking to bands, but are questioning how this will effect their careers. I’d love to hear other’s thoughts on this. Are you open to doing business with people who are who they are and transparent even if sometimes offensive vs. doing business with someone who is prim-and-proper, but really living a lie?
This reminds me of Keith Ferrazzi’s Never Eat Alone. Ferrazzi gives a simple formula [BR=PR, business relationships = personal relationships] which contributes to a congruent lifestyle. Especially if one subscribes to the saying that business is all about relationships.
Good point Brian- I believe business is all about trust. Relationships are also all about trust. That’s why you have the saying, business is all about relationships, and that makes business personal.
Thanks Carole!