Don’t Rush. Slow Down. Make it special.

 I sent this message to one of my LinkedIn connection’s connections yesterday.

(His first name),

I frequently scan my connections’ connections on LinkedIn looking for interesting profiles. When I find one, I look to see how we’re connected. You and I have several mutual connections, from a variety of directions and when I saw the Hubspot logo on your website, I knew that I’d be reaching out to you.


I retired on 12/29/11, but enjoy talking with founders who have been around the block and are still at it. Feel free to check our my profile and if you’d like to have a synergy-seeking conversation, let’s do it. 


Rick Roberge
He replied a couple of hours later with:
I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

Now, why did he do that? I don’t believe that we’ve ever met. We can’t vouch for each other. We don’t know enough about what the other does to be able to make a recommendation to somebody that we care about.

It’s kind of like meeting someone and asking them if they want to get married or have sex. How about coffee, a drink, dinner or a movie first? It’s the reason that potentially good prospects go into hiding. You’re going too fast. You’re using a cookie cutter process. Slow down. Make it special.
This was my response.
(His first name),

I’m sorry. My bad for not being clear.


At this point, we don’t know each other well enough to connect, but I’d expect that it would happen after we have a conversation to see if we get along. My calendar is online at http://tungle.me/rickroberge. Pick a time. Include the number that you want me to call. I’ll do the rest.

Rick Roberge
Incidentally, if you’d like us to get to know each other better, use the link, include your number and I’ll do the rest.

6 thoughts on “Don’t Rush. Slow Down. Make it special.

  1. Good advice, Rick. Personalized LinkedIn notes are valuable. I dislike the form connection requests. I will add, though, that you have to pay attention to the context of the situation. You’re retired, the person you reached out to is a founder – and presumably busier and with a more dense schedule than someone who has the flexibility of being retired. And, this is just me, I don’t like buzzwords like synergy-seeking. There are yoga classes for stuff like that. Why did you really want to talk to him? Because he’s a founder? Has a HubSpot connection? You’re still keeping sharp with side consulting gigs and could help him? Anyway – just my thoughts. Hope you are enjoying your retirement.

  2. Roman, thanks for reading and for the thoughtful comment. Please don’t assume that I don’t pay attention. Everybody’s busy. Everybody has a dense schedule. And that is the reason that I didn’t go into the why, or how sharp I am. My 98 word email will either get his attention or not. If I get his attention, he’ll look at my profile and if he sees a reason to talk, he’ll reply. LinkedIn advises less than 100 words and mention the commonality. No pitches. Pitches may or may not come later.

    One last thing – I also don’t like the word synergy, but at this point, that’s what we’re looking for.

  3. lol…….love the analogy of asking for sex and/or marriage right off the bat. But!! If you do you’re going to get one of two reactions. Either it’s a GO or it’s a NO…….If it’s GO thats great. If it’s NO, as we all know, sales BEGINS with the word NO!!!!!!!

  4. I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

    — Paul

    (just kidding. This is one of my pet peeves, too. And for kicks, I pulled this same one on Carole’s blog as linked above.)

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